VNecks are for Girls

Oh the irony. Check out this dude sitting in front of the city...

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 19:18:00 -0400

Oh the irony. Check out this dude sitting in front of the city lights, sporting his hipster glasses….Hey! wait….that guy has a VNecks are for Girls vneck shirt on. Never mind, this guy is awesome. You should get yours today, HERE…(shirts not hipster glasses)

—Dartamus

If VNecks are for Girls, then tank tops would be for 7year old...

Thu, 16 Sep 2010 18:57:00 -0400

If VNecks are for Girls, then tank tops would be for 7year old boys.

Adult men should not wear tank tops.

—Dartamus

Hypothesis: VNeck tee shirts have girlified the regular tee...

Sun, 22 Aug 2010 13:18:00 -0400

Hypothesis: VNeck tee shirts have girlified the regular tee shirt.

Exhibit A: A girl in a tee shirt.

Exhibit B: Dude with hammer in a tee shirt.

Exhibit C: Guy with a VNeck in a tee shirt…we’ll talk about his hair later.

Conclusion: VNecks are to blame for putting girly sleeves on dudes shirts. Trust me guys, your biceps aren’t as big as you think they are.

Give me my sleeves back.

—Dartamus

Hello Mr. Obvious. Mr. Obvious, you are oblivious to the funk...

Tue, 17 Aug 2010 11:08:20 -0400

Hello Mr. Obvious.

Mr. Obvious, you are oblivious to the funk I’m about to bring on you.

—Dartamus

Dear vaguely overweight and slightly chubby dude,As a voice of...

Sat, 14 Aug 2010 23:41:22 -0400

Dear vaguely overweight and slightly chubby dude,

As a voice of your tribe I plead with you, please do not attempt to wear any of the following units of clothing:

•VNecks, as they typically accentuate your moobs.
•Skinny jeans, contrary to popular belief, they don’t make you look skinny, usually the opposite is true.
•Vintage cut anything, you should know that vintage just means tight, and you shouldn’t wear tight.

I’m just looking out for you.

A fellow slightly chubby dude,

—Dartamus

VNecks aren’t contained within themselves. Their influence...

Wed, 11 Aug 2010 11:46:15 -0400

VNecks aren’t contained within themselves. Their influence is deep reaching. I’ve noticed it everywhere, and mainly on dudes who wouldn’t dare wear a deep plunging VNeck.

Take exhibit A: Dog the Bounty Hunter. Probably the manliest man I’ve never had the opportunity to meet. You’d never catch him sporting a girly VNeck. But because VNecks have made it socially acceptable to show some man chest, dudes now think it’s OK to unbutton 3 or 4 button on their nice church shirt.

VNecks, I cry that you’ve girlified Dog the Bounty Hunter.

—Dartamus

I knew this would eventually happen, and it finally did. Shame...

Thu, 05 Aug 2010 14:40:34 -0400

I knew this would eventually happen, and it finally did. Shame on you, innocent bystanders, for not stepping up and doing something about this nonsense.

Our fight rages on.

—Dartamus

Freshly mowed grass is beautiful. I hear you asking yourself,...

Tue, 27 Jul 2010 11:15:38 -0400

Freshly mowed grass is beautiful.

I hear you asking yourself, what does freshly mowed grass have to do with VNecks? And my answer should be, absolutely nothing. However, sadly that is not the case. So today, I’d like to address the issue of manly chest hair….man, that just feels dirty to even type.

When it comes to chest hair, some dudes are cursed to look like Chewbacca is taking up residence on their chest, while other dudes chests are slick as snot on a doorknob. While being a VNecksareforgirls expert, I suppose most dudes fall somewhere in the middle. If you must wear a VNeck (which should be never) embrace what you’ve got. Sure nobody likes to see Don King peering out from underneath a VNeck, or Mr. Clean shining back at you, but embrace it…after all you’re wearing a VNeck for crying out loud.

The one thing that you must never do: Trim your chest hair. No lady is attracted by a five o’clock shadow on your chest, neither do I want to catch a glimpse of what appears to be a freshly mowed patch of grass sitting below your neckline. There is no award for chest of the month, so knock it off. It’s gross.

—Dartamus

I was watching the youtubes tonight, and I came across this...

Fri, 23 Jul 2010 23:42:00 -0400

I was watching the youtubes tonight, and I came across this video. To be clear, I didn’t make this video, but I wish I had. I’m not sure I could have conveyed the message any clearer myself.

Enjoy.

—Dartamus

Guys, Let’s talk about VNecks with buttons on...

Wed, 21 Jul 2010 09:51:08 -0400

Guys, Let’s talk about VNecks with buttons on them….actually, let’s not. Here’s what you can do though, for all of us. Return the button up VNeck to your sisters closet.

Thanks, from the general public.

—Dartamus

I’m not a car aficionado. I drive a mini-van for crying...

Sun, 18 Jul 2010 15:08:27 -0400

I’m not a car aficionado. I drive a mini-van for crying out loud, which, you could argue…are for girls. And you’d be right, the mini van is for toting my 3 little girls around…BOOM, take that.

Sorry, back to the post at hand. Cars. Like I was saying earlier, I don’t really know cars. But I’d bet my bottom dollar that the guy who drives this car, also wears deep plunging Vnecks.

Shame.

—Dartamus

Chest tattoo’s don’t ratify vnecks on dudes. While I...

Tue, 06 Jul 2010 22:23:50 -0400

Chest tattoo’s don’t ratify vnecks on dudes. While I don’t currently have a chest tattoo, I can appreaciate one, as I image that they are pretty painful, and I guess would look pretty sweet with a shirt off. Here’s how I see it.

Chest tattoo: +45
Vneck on a dude: -150
Total of a chest tattoo on a dude wearing a vneck: -105

That’s about as manly as driving a Geo Tracker.

—Dartamus

A Great Cause

Tue, 22 Jun 2010 09:08:00 -0400

I work at a pretty hip place and get to see a ton of different fashion statements. I get to see everything from the high school dude wearing his sisters jeans, to the grandpa wearing his overalls from the 1940’s. From people trying to bring back the 80’s and people who have never let it go. Truth is, I get to see everything fashionable, and it doesn’t bother me…well, most of it. My wife tells me that I know nothing about fashion. And she’s right, mostly. I’m not sure what color chartreuse is, or what an A frame dress is, and I’m ok with that. There are a couple of things I know for sure.

I don’t want to see some dudes hairy chest
VNecks are for Girls

One day at work, I saw this dude who was wearing a deep plunging VNeck that was so deep, I almost saw his belly button. It was at that moment that I knew something had to be done. This non-sense couldn’t go on. Guys had to be stopped from wearing these shirts.

So I commented to my co-worker, that we needed to print shirts that simply said “VNecks are for Girls.” It’d be our platform to stand against this tomfoolery, he agreed. We started talking about it throughout the office. Some of these hip young VNeck wearing types, thought it’d be a great idea, and they wanted one when we got them printed. NOOO….What have we done?!?! And it struck me, dudes who wear VNeck shirts actually know that VNecks are for Girls, and they don’t care. So by printing up shirts to combat the VNeck epidemic, we would actually be empowering it.

After being in a terribly depressed state for days and months on end, it struck me. Maybe VNecks really can be FOR girls. What if we actually printed shirts up, sold them, and gave the profits away? Luckily, I happen to be a minor expert on girls, as I have 3 little girls of my own, and over the last few years I’ve learned that every girl deeply desires three things: They desire to be loved, cherished, and secure.

So that’s what we’re going to be doing. We’re starting a non-profit organization that will be partnering with local, national and international organizations, from helping stop the sex trade to battered women’s shelters, to girls homes, so that hurting girls can find security, cherishment and love. We’ll do this by printing up VNeck shirts, for guys and girls alike, and selling them, after all, VNeck are for Girls.

—Dartamus

Stay tuned. Big news coming. I’m pretty stoked. I may be...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 23:45:29 -0400

Stay tuned. Big news coming. I’m pretty stoked. I may be more excited than a mosquito at a nudist colony!!

—Dartamus

We’re starting a clothing line. Like a legit clothing line. Ok,...

Thu, 20 May 2010 22:55:00 -0400

We’re starting a clothing line. Like a legit clothing line. Ok, maybe not so legit. But anyway, we had a meeting to get the ball rolling and this dude showed up in a v-neck!?!?!

I’m so confused.

—Dartamus

Leah, you and the lovely lady you’ve never met are excatly...

Sun, 16 May 2010 23:06:00 -0400

Leah, you and the lovely lady you’ve never met are excatly why we’ve got to keep this fight moving onward. Chest hair is not sexy.

I refuse to let a sticky note defeat me. V-Necks are for girls.

—Dartamus

The trifecta

Thu, 13 May 2010 23:35:12 -0400

If you happen to see a dude wearing a V-Neck shirt with Dangly Necklace and sporting a Cardigan all at the same time, can you please tell him that his manhood is looking for him. Here’s an equation that will help you remember:

V-Neck + Dangly Necklace + Cardigan = Trifecta

—Dartamus

Dear Kobe, THIS IS NOT OK. —Dartamus

Mon, 03 May 2010 23:14:15 -0400

Dear Kobe,

THIS IS NOT OK.

—Dartamus

V-Neck test.

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 22:01:25 -0500

I needed some new undershirts as mine have seen better days. So I made the trek to my local Wal-Mart and picked some up. I decided to take the leap and test some of my own medicine. That’s right, I bought some v-neck undershirts. Just to be clear, they are undershirts, never to be seen.

I tried one on. I immediately felt like a girl. I’ve got to return these soon, and pick up some Wife Beaters. I don’t know how dudes do it. I’m sticking to my guns. V-Necks are for girls.

—Dartamus

We got our first Logo submission yesterday. I like it....

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 08:26:52 -0500

We got our first Logo submission yesterday. I like it. It’s hard for me to imagine any dudes wanting to wear a shirt with that logo on it, but after all, v-necks are for girls.

—Dartamus